So How Do You Seal The Deal?
Best thing about this stage is that it is rigged to your advantage. First, the mere fact that you have landed the date means your Ex wants you back – or is at least willing to give you a chance. It also means you played your cards well in the previous stage as explained in our previous article on rekindling your Ex’s attraction. Really, you are already halfway home.
Secondly, this is not a stranger. It’s your Ex. You already know her or him inside out. True, you were dumped not long ago. But you are here now. You are back.
Alright, so how do you play it now?
Seducing Your Ex Again
That’s what your in-person meeting with your Ex is about: seduction. You are here to charm your Ex and win her or him back. But there’s a difference. Your Ex knows you quite well. They know when you are being real and when you are acting up. This is a point that you might easily miss if you are too wrapped up in projecting the ‘new, improved you’.
So be real. Dress well, not like what you think your ‘new you’ should dress. Actually, don’t talk about the new you at all unless prompted. If you have improved, it will be evident and your Ex will comment about it – at which point you will talk about it briefly and modestly. Otherwise be the familiar you at your most attentive and easy going. That means avoiding serious topics, paying attention, keeping eye contact and generally being at ease. The more you can make your Ex talk, the better.
While at it, remember that the logic of our previous article on rekindling your Ex attraction applies in this stage too. Here’s how:
Reminding Your Ex of How Awesome You’ve Always Been
Your first goal during your first few dates with your Ex is to rekindle the bonds that you share. The memories and interests you have together. The intimate familiarity you have with each other. So, again, no matter how much you have re-engineered your personality, you must still remind your Ex of the person she or he fell in love with. That means sticking to topics that your Ex likes and being natural. If you were never the touching type, stay in character. Let the conversation flow.
But remember that you have a goal to achieve. So, make sure to spice the conversation with at least one happy recollection of shared memories or interests.
Show Your Ex of How Awesome You’ve Become
It’s easy to make a mistake here. Typical relationship advice is that you need to improve your attractiveness to win back your Ex. Like getting new hobbies, working out at the gym, getting a new circle of friends and improving your wardrobe.
That is all good advice. But as explained in our previous article, it comes with a big caution. Your Ex will love it if you have improved, but only if your improvement is according to her or his definition of improvement. In other words, it’s about what your Ex thinks is cool, not what your ‘new you’ thinks is cool. A good way to do it is to improve on things that your Ex always wanted you to improve on. If, for instance, your Ex was always trying to make you dress in a certain way, now’s the time to embrace it.
So, on your first few dates with your Ex, show her or him only the improvements you have made on things that impress them. Of course, you must let any such topic come up naturally. Don’t brag.
Deal With The Topic of Breaking Up Face On
Chances are that the topic of how and why you broke up will come up in the first few dates with your Ex. In fact, chances are the subject will almost certainly come up on the very first date. The trick here is not to be the one who broaches the subject. Let your Ex do that.
When the topic does come up, however, do not avoid it. Face it head on. You will really never get back together until this matter is resolved. But, and this where you really must be an improved person, you must not argue, blame your Ex or justify whatever you did or did not do. If you are a guy, don’t plead or beg either. Instead, explain that you fully understand why your Ex dumped you and that you do not blame her or him for it. Accept that you took it badly and blamed her or him for a while after the break up – but that you have since thought about it and you now understand.
This is also very important: please mean what you say. If you have not seriously thought of why the breakup happened and you genuinely don’t understand why your Ex dumped you, then you are not ready to resume the relationship. Why? Because chances are you will only end up making the same mistake – and being dumped again. That is the most important relationship lesson of them all. Quite simply, do not work at getting back with your Ex if you have not learnt any lesson from the break up.
Men, if you want to learn the full method of how to get your ex girlfriend or wife back, click here.
Women, if you want to get your ex boyfriend or husband to love you again and commit to you forever, click here.
